It takes less than a second to text or call another person in present times. To top that, there comes a buffet of conversation platforms, all profiting from human connections, ready for one to make a move.Not just t…

It takes less than a second to text or call another person in present times. To top that, there comes a buffet of conversation platforms, all profiting from human connections, ready for one to make a move.Not just technology, a lot is also being understood about mental health.Despite growth in these areas, talking about one’s feelings has not become any easier in all these years.Youth battling emotional fights aloneAbout 49.5 per cent of Indian youth still hide away difficult emotions and attempt to deal with them entirely on their own, said a survey by Mpower, a social enterprise and mental health service provider under the Aditya Birla Education Trust.It found that only about 9.2 per cent of the respondents sought professional help.In most cases, young people suppress negative emotions and this has been associated with serious physical and mental health risks, including poor relationships, depression, cancer and others.Hence, the existing trend to push down feelings may be causing more harm than any good.Reluctance to seek supportGreater awareness of mental health does not necessarily translate into greater emotional openness, experts have said.The survey titled Unpack Your Emotional Baggage: A Call to Action for Young Indians to Seek Help During Emotional Distress gathered responses from young adults aged 18 to 25 from ten key regions in India, including Mumbai, Pune, Delhi NCR, Bengaluru, Kolkata, Ahmedabad, Goa, Hyderabad, Chennai, and Jaipur, to see how youth manages emotions.It found that Indian youth find it difficult to trust other people with their negative feelings, including friends and family members.“The youth only knows the language of mental health, what burnout looks like on paper or the dangers of overthinking but when it comes to them, they can almost convince themselves that they can handle emotions all by themselves or they have to be at their worst to get help,” said Dr Munia Bhattacharya, a senior psychologist at Marengo Asia Hospitals (Gurugram).The survey revealed that about 40.9 per cent of the youth say they are ‘doing fine’ when they are not.DH spoke to some young people across different age groups to understand reasons why they find it hard to emotionally open up with others.In a climate of unease, youth seek justice and jobs”Nobody has got time to listen”Kavya Singh Pundhir (26) who works as a digital marketer at Reckitt, in Gurugram, said that people are overly involved with their own lives. As per studies, social disintegration, long working hours, social media and stressful living are making people withdraw from others’ lives.“Very few people are present at the moment when you talk to them. I can often see my friends scrolling phones while we are talking, not making eye contact or they have to reach somewhere or do something. So, you feel that unsaid rejection if you try to open up,” said Kavya.When asked if she would consider therapy, she said it’s too expensive and not as sustainable as other clinical visits.”I have trust issues”Utkarsh Pandit (29), Lead Technical Support Engineer at Simplismart (Bengaluru) said the small yet continuous breach of trust by people he once believed in has made him rely on himself more with his insecurities than give this power to others.He said: “I do talk about emotions with a few very close friends or my brother, but they have to be very, very close to me, otherwise I won’t bother them with my problems. As far as therapy is concerned, it’s a long road of hit and trial to find the right practitioner.”“I would rather cook, or engage in retail therapy or simply talk out the problem with myself, writing down my thoughts and trying to see where they may be stemming from. In the end, no one knows me better than myself,” added Utkarsh.”I tend to overshare”Emotional dysregulation can also show up as sharing vulnerable feelings with people who may not be emotionally safe.Standing on the opposite end, Aishwarya S Nair (27), an NGO worker based in Delhi, tends to overshare her feelings as a coping mechanism to deal with distressing thoughts.As per Psychology Today, oversharing in places where there is no shared intimacy can instill more negative feelings in both the speaker and the listener.“I also tend to order desserts to comfort myself,” said Aishwarya while talking about her other coping mechanisms.“They don’t mean it when they check on us”Diya Saraswat (17), a student at Norwest Christian college, in Sydney (Australia) feels that the simple act of asking someone how they may be doing has become performative or just a way to initiate superficial conversation. In most social situations, the listener may not be actively looking for answers.“People who really care about you ask more direct and specific questions. Most of the time, the tone and monotony of the query conveys it is just a performance, not a genuine concern,” said Diya.Awareness is not enoughThe survey found that whenever young people try to open up about difficult emotions, for about 40.4 per cent of respondents, they are told to act ‘strong’ and self dismiss their emotions by their loved ones.It highlighted that using clinical language is not the same as practicing it in one’s daily life. Also, the word ‘strength’ has been falsely reinforced and associated with emotional avoidance.People may be ready to talk about emotions but they may not be ready to do the emotional work, experts have said.Only 13.6% reported that someone listened without judgment and provided emotional support, it added.Gender differences in expressionThere is also a gendered element to emotional coping, experts have observed, with men and women having different locus of emotional pain.The following observations were made by the researchers while they spoke to the two genders.Women report higher internal emotional burdens, led by constant overthinking (60% female share), self-doubt (56%), and body image concerns (69%). Men show higher representation in external stressors, including work-related stress (57% male share) and financial insecurity (54%).Women more open to the idea of helpWhile assessing emotional openness among genders, the study found that 60% of respondents who do not realize something is wrong emotionally until another person points it out to them were predominately male.As per experts, this could arise from social conditioning where men are socially rewarded for acting all put together.Too much energy spent to act fineAs per Dr Munia Bhattacharya, holding difficult emotions inside and acting all is fine saps a good amount of one’s physical and psychological resources.“I often see young people who look completely fine from the outside. They are going to college, going to work, meeting deadlines, socializing, doing everything they are supposed to do. But somewhere along the way, they have stopped feeling like themselves,” she said.In other words, emotional dysregulation won’t always look messy or chaotic from the outside. Sometimes, spotting people who may be going through disturbing thoughts or complex emotions is not straightforward or apparent.“They may come in saying, “I can’t sleep,” or “I can’t concentrate,” or “I don’t know why I am irritated all the time.” And when you start talking, you realize there is quite a lot that they have been carrying quietly,” she added.Distraction versus emotional avoidanceCoping mechanisms are conscious thoughts or actions people engage in to reduce emotional stress.It could be buying new clothes or ordering a dish to uplift one’s mood.As per experts, distractions are not always bad as sometimes taking some time off from an emotional problem by going on a walk or meeting a friend can give the mind some space to look at it from a different perspective.However, it also runs the risk of translating into emotional avoidance.Speaking to DH, Dr Rahul Chandhok, a senior psychiatrist at Artemis hospital said: “Healthy distraction offers a short term escape, giving the person the opportunity to eventually return to the root of the problem and tackle it.”But if the person deliberately runs away from being alone with their thoughts, then it becomes a problem, he added.Risk of self diagnosisWith increasing mental health content on social media, there is a real risk of people self diagnosing oneself or others.For instance, one can perceive boundary formation as emotional rejection or healthy assertiveness as narcissistic tendencies.“Those who feel their problems aren’t “serious enough”, they will likely not get any help. Others will decide that they are suffering from the disorder and will never see a mental health professional at all because of shame or self assurance. This is another major block in receiving care for mental health,” said Dr Pretty Duggar Gupta, a psychiatrist at Aster Whitefield Hospital.Age of LonelinessWith loneliness rising across the globe, it is common to mistake it for being alone or social isolation where the person may not have adequate social support or network.Loneliness is a feeling of being disconnected from others or lacking meaningful relationships, said the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and one can experience it even while being surrounded by people all the time.To understand if young people are feeling emotionally unsafe or lonely, they should often ask themselves if they have a place or person where they feel seen, understood and accepted, experts have advised.

Source: Deccan Herald